6 years & 11 months ago
I went to get help
They all told me
“You can’t do it by yourself”
I was overwhelmed
Wanted to say, “Shove it!”
They told me to calm down
And remember, “Easy does it”
I was told to get a sponsor
And I was like, “Why?”
I thought, “What a joke!”
They said, “Work the Steps or die!”
At first I resisted
All because of fear
I said, “I got this”
They said, “Your best thinking got you here!”
I was pretty offended
But I listened anyway
Worried & scared to death
They said, “Just for today”
I began working the Steps
And started to be healed
They said this is forever
And “More will be revealed”
I began to feel emotions
I felt under attack
They said, “The best & worst thing about recovery”
“Is you get your feelings back”
There were times I wanted to give up
There were times I couldn’t see
I got angry when they told me,
“You’re right where you’re supposed to be”
I stayed the course anyway
Recovery seemed so far
I wanted to run away
But they said, “Wherever you go, there you are”
I took all of their suggestions
At times I’d just smile & nod
Then, life showed up
They told me, “Let go and let God”
At 18 months clean
Everything happened so fast
I lost my job & almost lost my brother
They said, “This too shall pass”
I wanted to use so badly
I felt it in my gut
They held my hand & told me,
“Don’t use no matter what”
I stayed clean through it all
But I’ve also made mistakes
But I have stayed willing
To do “Whatever it takes”
I have to take suggestions
To avoid being in a hearse
And remember that no matter what
“My recovery MUST always come FIRST”
I still keep a gratitude list
I still continue to climb
Sometimes it’s really hard
But I take it “One day at a time”
Things still make me angry
At times I scream & swear
But I calm myself down
Saying “The Serenity Prayer”
I still hit my knees & pray
My brain still has a short circuit
But it’s true when they say,
“It works if you work it”
I haven’t relapsed “YET”
I have a lot of haters
Sometimes it’s hard to deal with
But I know “It gets greater later”
Recovery has changed my life
“Acceptance is the key”
I’ve learned so much
And gained serenity
I never thought it was possible
I never thought I’d find
A way to stay clean
And gain true “peace of mind”
So, if you think it’s impossible
And you feel under attack
Just know “We Do Recover”
And “Keep Coming Back!”
By April Grisham