I was hooked on alcohol from the moment I had my first beer at 14 years old. I loved it immediately and once I started I could not stop. I was the party girl who loved a good time. I drunk to feel happy, to relax, to feel special, to block out emotional pain and to avoid facing reality. My life spiralled out of control.
Then late one night I was lying on the toilet floor alone sobbing uncontrollably. I was in so much emotional pain it felt like my heart was literally breaking apart. I could not live like this anymore. The only option I thought I had was suicide. Amid the hopelessness and suffering I cried out a desperate prayer. That small croaked prayer caused a shift in me, there was no angel choir, but I felt a whisper of hope and a glimpse of a different future. I got up off that floor and decided to stop drinking right then.
Soon after that evening I was invited to church and shortly after I became a Christian. My new faith and hope in Jesus, who loves me and accepts me, gave me the courage to change and the church gave me a solid support network of people who wanted me to succeed and supported me.
When I was drinking, I was out of control, I felt powerless, constantly ashamed and I hated myself. My life is very different now. I have been sober for over 19 years and the freedom that comes from overcoming an addiction and gaining control back over your life is so valuable and precious.
You can read more of my story in my book ‘Soaring out of the darkness’.
– Staci Mclean