On December 1 2000 my life changed drastically. I was 17 years old trying to hold on to the woman that meant the entire world to me as her life was slipping away. My Mom. She was not just my Mom but my best friend. I held her hand and hugged her as she took her final breathes of life and went to heaven. My whole world changed that day and not for the better. Within 4 months after her death I was told I had to move out of my family home because they (her family)were selling it. I was no longer a part of that side of the family anymore because I adopted and not related through blood, is what I was told by them. Oh if my Mom could of heard that 
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This is were I began my life as an alcoholic. I drank from sun up to sun down to try and kill the pain and emptiness I had inside. It got to the point I was blacking out and not remembering the day prior. Many of times I was sobering up in a jail cell at the police station. It got worse. I started letting my anger out and whoever was on my path of destruction felt that anger. Now I was being arrested for assault after assault which led me to going to jail. I was placed on probation for a total of 7 years straight, because why not what did I have to lose now? At age 18/19 I moved to Vancouver for a little while where I was introduced to crystal meth. You ever wonder what thatās like? Well Iām about to tell you. First hit I took I was hooked thatās all it took. Turned out I smoked more my first time then these people have ever seen somebody smoke for their first time. I sat on a couch for 8 hours only looking up once at the clock. I drew the most messed up pictures of things that would pop into my head. I even drew a picture of the clock with the time on it when I looked. As the days went on the hilulcinstuons started. There were people partying on the streets (there was really nobody there), I started to hear voices in my head with messages coming from hell and the devil himself. I was driving hot cars for an infamous biker gang and one time was involved in something so dark and scary I actually canāt speak of it, all I can say is I had to be followed and protected and make my way back to Ontario. Getting clean from meth was hell. I just wanted to die on the bathroom floor. The withdrawals were unreal.
I came back to Ontario and tried to start a new life, a better one. I had my 1st son at age 21 and that started a change. I then had my second son at 22 and a little while after that things came crashing down again. My 2nds sons father became an addict (crack),I was clean and sober at this point. I had to protect my boys from him and I placed them for adoption (I still to this day have contact with them). I started drinking again not long after this. Then 2 years later I ended up pregnant with my 3rd son and my life started to get better again. I got married and had my 1st daughter. Then that all crashed down and we split. I then met my 5th and 6th childās father and we split up after a few years for awhile and thatās when I relapsed and bad. Iāll never forget the first hit I took (from the needle), it was the most amazing feeling, Iām not gonna lie. As the drugs worked their way through my veins to my brain, all the problems in my life seemed to melt away. I then began to crave the coke so bad it took over my life. My 4 older children with with their fathers during this time. I became dependent on it, I couldnāt function with out it. Or so I thought. I stopped eating and sleeping. I lost so much weight I was no more then 100lbs. My arms were bruised and sore from missing and broken veins. I was a mess. The first time I overdosed was from hydro morphine. I remember saying I was fine but I could literally feel death creeping up on me as I slipped away. I closed my eyes and let nature take its course because I knew nobody was going to help me or call 911. If they did they could of been charged for many things. It was at least a good hour (so I was told) before I could faintly hear my name being called. I slowly opened my eyes and was on the front lawn. I looked around and closed my eyes again and I remember thinking āplease god just take me nowā. July 27th 2015 was my second overdose. I knew it was coming and I didnāt care what was going to happen. I got beat up and thrown around and my car forcibly stolen from me at knife point earlier that day. I came through quicker this time. July 29th 2015 was my 3rd and final overdose. This one that happened was the most reality hitting. As many know my best friend Amanda had passed away not long before all this happened. When I was overdosing all I can remember is seeing her holding her baby Hayden (who also passed away) and telling me they werenāt ready for me yet and to go back.
July 30th 2015 (which was also the anniversary of Haydenās passing) was the day I decided to put the spoon and needle down for good. But not with out daily fight. Many nights I cried myself to sleep from the cravings,and the pain in my body but I pushed through and each and everyday I got stronger. I was back with Tyler and my kids and my life started to get better again. We left Ontario behind and moved to PEI with the kids. Not long after we were here I found out I was pregnant with my 6th baby and my last. I also found out at the same time my carelessness of being a ājunkieā almost cost me my life in more ways then one. I found out I had stage 3 Hepatitis C (the final stage before liver cancer). I fought with the PEI government for 3 years for treatment with no response. Well after my 3 year long fight for treatment it turned out my body, the same body I had abused for many years with drugs and alcohol healed itself. The blood work showed the virus was no longer detected in my blood. I do however still have the anti-bodies but no virus. Thank God!!
As of July 30th 2018 iāam 3 years clean and sober. How is my life today? Well it has its ups and downs but each day I get through is one closer to seeing my children grow up and to me there is no better reason to stay off the drugs and alcohol 
The reason for writing this is not everyoneās life is as it seems and there are people out there portraying a good life but in reality they are suffering. Donāt judge people based on the things you easily see because there may be more to their story then you know. Please reach out for help for yourself or a loved one, because all it takes is that one last high to change everyoneās life forever. Educate yourself and stop judging those you see on the streets you donāt know what brought them to this point in their lives. Just in the last few years Iāve lost over 8 very important people in my life from drugs and alcohol alone.
You look at these people with disgust and hatred and look the other way.
Donāt tell me this will never be me or my children because reality is it could very well be. Those that are struggling in the fires of hell are somebodyās family members that they couldnāt save before it got to late but that does not mean turn your back and look the other way. Stand up and make a change, it could be life saving. I suffer everyday from bipolar depression, anxiety and many chronic pain issues. But I refuse to allow drugs to take over me again because if it happens again, I know this will be my final curtain call and my family and children will be burying me and thatās not what I want for them or myself. There are parts of this story I have left out but trust me when I say, Iāve been to places and seen and done things most people could never imagine.
Please feel free to message me privately with any questions or just to talk. I promise I will try my very best to answer you or help you get the answers your needing.
I canāt fight addiction alone and neither can you!! Stand with me and letās make a difference together. I would love to someday speak at schools or treatment centres for addiction and make my story come more alive. To date my openness on social media about my addiction has helped at least 2 people I know get clean and sober and Iād love for those numbers to rise.
Please share my story and let people know they are not alone.
– Andrea Donaldson