Can WE all agree that Alcoholics/Addicts who have truly surrendered have these two things in common?
We have experienced pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization because of alcohol/drugs.
When we pick up that first drink/drug, WE cannot say with 100% certainty when we are going to stop.
This is true for high bottoms and low bottoms. Untreated addiction can be mental torture and ultimately fatal.
I was reminded in a message the other day of why we started online….A lady messaged me to talk and let me know that her nephew had just been taken off of life support and died that day after a heroin overdose. He was just 38 years old. She went on to tell me how he had recently decided to leave sober living and move in with friends thinking he could handle it, and shortly after decided to give heroin just one more try. She then went on to tell me how she felt he needed more time in sober living and I was quickly reminded of why we started our mission years ago…..
I struggled with alcoholism and drug addiction most of my life and finally got clean and sober after detoxing in jail one more time on 10/05/2003. My days of going to private detox and treatment were long gone. Sadly, I went through numerous facilities growing up and throughout my 20s. My father wrote checks totaling 100s of 1000s of dollars and looking back, I was just as clueless as when I started drinking and using as I was when I finally got sober at 38 years old.
I got really lucky in 2004. Looking back I consider it a miracle that I was offered a job at a treatment center in operations with only 7 months sober. I was thrilled! It was certainly the first time I (worked) at a treatment center and for the first 4 or 5 years there I was just as much a client as I was an employee.
Looking back it was the Long Term Treatment professionals had recommended for me since I was 17. At the job, I was held accountable to be on time, have good hygiene, and, of course, be clean/sober. They tested me often my first two years of working there.
I had never had years of being clean/sober and after over 20 years of untreated addiction, I needed time to get my head together and develop life and social skills and build a foundation for my own recovery which included getting a sponsor, working the 12 Steps, sticking around long enough to get well enough to see how sick I really was, and then get commitments and begin to sponsor other men (this took me years.) Granted I was extremely sick and had zero skills or resources, though I believe most men and women need at least 9 months to a year of structured sober living.
Around year six or seven I began working a little in marketing, while still working in operations. The center I worked at was one of the largest in the country and we would get paid to attend staff meetings. I heard many different things and as I stayed sober, I finally found my own voice and formed my own opinions as I saw firsthand what worked and what did not, and people were dying.
Today there is way too much confusion about what a solution for addiction/alcoholism is and what are tools and thousands of people die each year because of it.
Yes, there are many great tools….from detox meds to different styles of treatment/therapy. But they are tools, not solutions….
Everyone knows that addiction is often fatal, and if people are trying to stay clean/sober by using only tools or are misinformed about what the solution is, then we have people all around the world needlessly dying believing that their case is different.
This is my opinion after working in the health care industry for over a decade and being in and around recovery communities for many years. I have heard and knew many of those that died in my 10 mile radius, and sadly there are near countless 10 mile radiuses throughout the world.
It is no secret to the near 15,000 treatment centers and detox facilities in the country that 12 Step Programs are the only clinically proven solution for alcoholism and drug addiction. We could get a 1,000 treatment center owners together and the only thing they would nearly all agree upon is that this is true.
Please research some of the oldest, largest, and most well-known treatment facilities in the United States and find out why their programs are 12 Step based and have over thousands of clean/sober alumni members.
There are approximately 10 million members in 12 Step groups worldwide. There are many Doctors, Clergy Members, Politicians, Celebrities, Lawyers, Painters, Construction Workers, Stay at Home Moms and Dads, Retail Clerks, Food Servers, Stock Brokers, Dog Walkers, Scientists, Fitness & Yoga Instructors, Boat Captains, Service Men and Women, etc….. We could add to this list for days.
I have sat with marketers and CEOs of large facilities and my argument was and probably always will be, “Why don’t we just market the truth?! We have an excellent long-term step down program and great staff in a resort location where we help clients get settled in one of the strongest recovery communities in the country and after they build a solid foundation, they can move anywhere in the world.”
I’ll never forget their reactions – “We cannot sell the 12 steps!” and one executive said, “What?! Tell them ….. That less than 10% are going to make it…..”
Marketers in the Health Care Industry Sell Things…. If they can’t sell one thing, they will sell another…. and if a particular item or service is what the public wants, then Marketers will make it available…. It’s the American way….Free Enterprise. And after all, the customer is always right….Right?
This is not always the case in the Health Care Industry where clients/patients have disorders that center in their minds, and where families are scared for their loved ones and just want the best for them. Sadly, in many cases the family members are just as sick as their loved one who is afflicted. The AMA declared addiction a disease in the 1950s and there are new studies that support what was claimed in the 1930s and that is that addiction is a disorder that centers in the mind.
So when family members are leaving important decisions up to the person afflicted, they are leaving important decisions up to a person that has a disease that centers in their mind….and most of us want the easier softer way.
I may need to double check this, but I heard that there is at least one state that does not allow an addict/alcoholic to be diagnosed with co-occurring disorders until they have at least 18 months clean/sober. I am completely clean from the neck up, though if I were to see 10 different doctors, I may receive a number of different diagnoses. And in my case, to start experimenting with medications and such could set the whole cycle of addiction in motion again. I stay clean/sober one day at a time with a routine of action.
12 Step Programs have changed through the years as many seek recovery. Many years ago success rates were 75% more in some places, and back then 12 Step members could closely monitor each other and sponsor the new people as they came in for the first year or more, making sure firsthand that the members were taken through the steps and taught a routine that includes unity, service, and recovery. Years ago, 12 Step Programs were the IOPs (intensive out-patient) and sober livings of today.
Today with the number of people coming in, it is impossible to do things as they did back then. And still today there are pockets of strong recovery groups around the world with some communities having stronger sponsorship families than others.
Today, treatment centers with long-term step down care are the best answer (Programs with past Alumni in the 100s and even 1000s) are the leading programs for those whose lifestyles will allow it. Nearly all could benefit from long-term treatment as long as the reasons behind it are clear….to build a comfortable foundation in local recovery communities, including fellowship, unity, and service.
If treatment is just not an option, there are still tens of 1000s that come to 12 Step rooms/meetings on their own and get clean/sober. I suggest that men coming in try and go to men’s meetings the first couple of weeks or months and women go to all women’s meetings the first couple of weeks or months. They will be met more consistently if they let people know that they are new.
I’m really sad about the lady who messaged me the other day about her nephew dying.
Sadly, even today still around 95% of all alcoholics and addicts die in active addiction.
I believe if there is more consistent and accurate information about recovery, those numbers could drastically change.
What is the truth?
Alcoholics/Addicts that have truly surrendered KNOW these two things:
We have experienced pitiful incomprehensible demoralization because of alcohol/drugs.
When we pick up that first drink/drug WE cannot say with 100% certainty when we are going to stop.
Thank Goodness, There is a Solution: The 12 Steps do slowly what alcohol/drugs did quickly.
Special Thanks to:
Bill W., Dr. Bob, Dr. Silkworth, Jimmy K., Dr. Paul, Clancy I., Mike K., Mike S., & Vince J.
Please contact me if you have any questions or comments.
Best always,
Kelly Kettle
When we started our very first website and group on Facebook named 12 Step Planet, this is the information we wanted to share. The last thing I had in mind was having treatment resources. My thought was that we would gather together and collect so many stories of experience, strength, and hope that it would be obvious what the challenges are in the world (which is what is written above), there would be loads of evidence of what and where the solution really is, and that these shared stories would help the world understand what our challenges are.
Just like everyone else, I hate seeing and hearing about people dying in our 10 mile radius and beyond….so I just thought we would try to make a difference.
*This article is not intended to replace seeking out and visiting qualified doctors and/or therapists.*